Her Broken Mirror...
The cracks of her broken home started even before she was born. Growing up, her dad’s abuse was ‘normal’ and that way of life was all she ever knew. There was an unconditional love from her mom but her dad was physically violent and verbally abusive towards all of them and this abuse had a way of taking over.
Because of him, their family dynamics changed and will haunt her forever. As an adult, she still has nightmares and has developed depression, anxiety, and insomnia. She struggles with different aspects of her life that she believes is a direct consequence of her abusive childhood. She possesses a high need to please everyone, to make sure everyone else is happy, no matter what it does to her.
She learned at a young age to keep her laughter and tears inside. She learned to not be seen and to always be silent. She never knew what would set him off or what he would do next. She lived in constant fear of the man that was supposed to protect her.
She can still remember the first time he hurt her; she was only 6 years old. There was a party at a neighbour’s and all the kids were playing soccer. Her older brother accidently pushed her and she started to cry. Her dad hated when she cried and for the most part, she kept her tears in but for some reason that day she couldn’t and they flowed down her cheeks. He told her she was embarrassing him and for them both to go home. As she was leaving, her mom stopped her as she ran by. She told her mom what happened and she looked back at her with such sadness in her eyes, and then told her to hurry. When she got home, she ran to her room and changed into her PJ’s and that’s when she heard the banging and the crying. She realized her dad and brother made it home before she did and she could only guess what must be going on. She rushed into bed before he came upstairs but with every step of those heavy boots echoing through the house, she knew her turn was next. He opened the door and started screaming at her. He had never hit her before, but that all changed that night. The next day was Sunday, and they were getting ready for church, it was the first time her mom ever let her wear make-up…