The dark...

Were you ever afraid of the dark? Do you remember as a child, running quickly to turn on the light, then running to the next one, and turning that one on to ward off the monsters you knew were lurking about? What would you do if those monsters were in your head and they never left you, even when the light was turned on?

His monsters are real and they are telling him that he doesn’t matter and they are angry but he can’t explain why. There is a always a battle, and depending on the day, he’s never sure who will win.

The cycle of his downward spiral sneaks up on him and the self-loathing begins to break the fragile cracks that were put together by his thoughts that creep in and tell him he is good, that he does deserve love, and he is worth it…

He can’t trust his own thoughts at times because those belong to the monster that is called depression. He fights this beast daily, trying to function, trying to make sense of it all.

He is angry for even existing and sometimes he has casual thoughts of suicide, so often this happens, it seems normal to think this way now.

He’s been depressed since he was 8 years old. He was always angry, angry for living, angry with his parents for even being born! Self-destruction with drugs and alcohol came at an early age, somehow the use of these band-aids helped him forget but they made him forget all too well and he began to rely on them to make his monsters disappear...